When The Love Is Gone
Being in a relationship that is just all around toxic can take a toll on one's mental and physical health. I know because I've been there. I was in a relationship filled with lies, abuse, and infidelity (to name a few). After so long I started to ask myself, "How will I love again?", "Am I worthy to be loved?", "Will I ever be able to trust another man?". These are all questions that I struggled to answer on a daily basis.
When my marriage ended I was left with a ball of emotions. I felt like I wasn't good enough. I questioned myself as a woman. I felt myself becoming bitter. I had to step back and make a decision to be happy. I wanted my smile to be genuine. I was not willing to allow someone else to take my happiness in life away from me. Letting go of the pain definitely is not easy but I knew it was something that needed to be done though. I had to do this to become a better me.
Day after day I would get up, look myself in the eye, and say "I am worthy! I am loved!". I didn't feel it immediately but once I initiated the change it was a feeling like no other. I began to look at the good instead of looking at the bad.
I am loving myself now more than ever! I was so wrapped up in loving someone else that I forgot to love me first. And believe me, it was easy to do for me because my perception of love was wrong to begin with.
Today, I stand a little taller, I smile a little wider, my head is held a little higher, and most importantly my days are brighter. It's an every day process and I'm here taking it one day at a time.